How do we help our children cope with big emotions?

So how do we cope with life stressors or help our kids manage big emotions in
response to challenges that they face?

Well first thing I would say is AWARENESS of our OWN responses to stress –
what causes us to be triggered and what happens in our bodies when we
move into a state of increased stress?

Once we have awareness of our own bodily responses and reactions, we can
then implement strategies to increase resilience (so we are not as easily
triggered into a stress state) as emotions are contagious!

We can then see and understand our children’s behaviours and help them
cope with big emotions in response to life challenges and things that they
struggle with…..

One big thing to remember is that when we or our children are in a state of
stress (expressing big emotions) our survival brain is on and our thinking brain
is off (in very simplistic terms) therefore, at this point, attempting to reason
with our children is not helpful.

We must first regulate (ourselves) and then
help our children to regulate and then (once their thinking brain is back on) we
can have a conversation with them, and problem solve or discuss issues.

So how do we help them to regulate? We be present, minimal talking and use
our non-verbals to show that we understand them…. (it can be different for
each child depending on what they prefer, some kids prefer hugs, some prefer
space, using sighs etc, )… the biggest thing is allowing their survival brain to
calm down prior to attempting to manage the situation that sparked the issue.