A calm adult is much better able to calm a dysregulated child… a dysregulated adult can never calm a dysregulated child. – Bruce Perry

Emotions are contagious! This is fundamental when understanding how to manage behavioural dysregulation.

When in a room with someone that is stressed, your body will very easily take on this stress by mirroring.  Similarly, if a person is calm and centred, it will have a grounding effect on the other person.  Your non-verbal behaviours, like your tone of voice, facial expression and your body posture is much more powerful regulating someone then your language, ‘it’s not what you say, it is how you say it’.

Being triggered by childrens’ behaviours and getting caught up in their emotional storm creates a ‘co-dyregulation’

Similarly, a warm, gentle presence, soft tone of voice, and nurturing gestures can calm a child – ‘co regulation’

The power of ‘staying calm’ when managing behavioural/emotional issues is so important.

If we take care of ourselves, engage in daily regulating activities to fill our ‘emotional cup’, we build resilience to be able to withstand our daily challenges (like children’s’ big emotions and behaviours).

Weave self-care activities into your daily routine and this will continually ‘top up’ your emotional cup!

• Enjoying a cup of tea/coffee at some point throughout the day and ‘notice’ 3 things see, hear, smell around you.
• Engage in a breathing activity (when at the lights in traffic, or waiting for the kettle, or in the shower).  Practice breathing in for 4 (through your nose) and out for 6 (slowly) x6 (this takes 1 minute).
• Walking is a great regulating exercise
• Get a massage once a month
• Listen to music (in the car, morning routine, at night).

Simple activities, right? We just have to make sure we do one of these everyday – it regulates the nervous system and tops up our emotional cup (in preparation for the cup to be drained by life’s stressors).